Apex Legends highlight: spreading cheeks with the mastiff.

in gaming •  28 days ago  (edited)

Gather around, you bunch of god damn baby boi's. And, watch as I just get absolutely greasy on a round of Apex Legends. I might be one of the filthiest men to wield the mastiff in this game, as I just spread the cheeks with the condom off on this poor squad towards the end of the game. I dare you to find me another man who can just be an absolute grease king like this when it's a 1v3, you just can't fucking do it in this dojo of masculinity. But, yeah. Here's a clip of me clutching out a very disadvantaged 1v3 where I had no god damn shields and was being chased by a bunch of sweaty virgins. Enjoy. 

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I assume those sweaty virgins were fella's otherwise figure you would have let them catch you. (Curated for @curangel bro.)

I mean, I accept any and all sweaty virgins. But, I could smell their micro dick's from a kilometer away as they were chasing me. So, I had no choice but to put nuts to butts as that's just offensive to me.

Ah ok, yes I see your point...Wise choice indeed then.

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was that 2 or 3 that came after you? Looks like they regretted it :)

A full 3 man squad of micro dicked virgins. I'm sure they felt shame and probably went and ate chicken tendies and cried. It was really bad on their end, considering they were all pretty kitted out.

to be fair, chicken tendies are pretty awesome. I suppose it depends on the sauce.